Nothingness...

If I can only wake up each morning and go to bed each night and thoughts of that person will not cross my mind, then that would probably be my most triumphant moment.

Sometimes, I really just need someone to slap me on the head (?) to wake me up. There are times when I get really depressed about what's happening, or not happening, with my life. No matter how hard I try, the past always calls for me and I get sadder when memories come to mind.

No, I don't regret what happened, nor do I regret meeting the person. I just really miss the times, terribly. I want to say, "Thank you for teaching me that I could feel this much about somebody, that I could actually go totally crazy over someone." It scared me. It still does.

It was good while it lasted though, even if it hurt a lot. I'm not masochistic, but I think I am one when this person is involved. This made me feel so pathetic, and it still does.

I would fight for the person, even with myself. But, in the end, I realized that if I continue to fight alone, there really is no point in going on with it.

* * * * *

I found this online a few weeks ago and I've been reading it a lot. It's something I need, and it's something I should live by. However, as always, everything's easier said than done.

Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
(http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/11/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/)